What can I say? 'Back' like this, yet it is the way to get word out to many, meaning those who have heard about the shooting that happened in our neighborhood yesterday that Emile and I are safe.

http://www.courant.com/community/news/mr/hc-web-wesleyan-shooting-0507.artmay08045212,0,603489.story

No, it did NOT happen in our bookstore, however, it was a block down from us on the same street, and we are between their books store and the campus itself, just across the street from us is a dorm complex. Needless to say we are not opening the shop today. Murdered not caught as well as he's a fixation on students of that campus? Un-uh, not us. Of course it doesn't bother the deli owner next door, he's open just fine. Typical.

It's like a ghost town out there, far different cry than yesterday. Whoa, what a thing to just happen to look out the window on that bright, spring day and see police officers running around with assault riffles twenty feet away and then go dashing around the child development center across the street, searching in and through the bushes lining it; a German Shepherd straining at the leash while two more officers are behind heading off in different direction...

Ahem. I quickly went and locked the front door.

Cruiser was set as roadblock in the street at the corner, and was something later to see a small car zip up, park illegal and a woman get out trying to get by the officer because her daughter also worked in the book store and she did not know if she was safe or not. Practically beneath our window, could hear as she was told the place had been evacuated; mother only knowing that her daughter had been standing right next to all the shooting; the relief felt coming off of her in a flood when learned she was alright.

Little kids running around in their yards along the Yellow Tape strung up, see the news vans come and set up cameras (next to our house) and start shouting how they want to be on TV! Some yelling at the crew to make them a 'movie star'.

Freaking surreal, man.

Okay, like said, I am sort of back, though still running through some emotional ringers here and it's hard as hell to break out of this shell built up to keep the pain and depressions of life out. Just can't deal with things; to talk about just has everything crashing down upon and welling up again; overwhelms, and any tiniest scrap of self gained back is ripped away, things raw and right there again. It's freaking pathetic, man, I swear, know it, still, sometimes you just have to burrow down and hibernate a while, cocoon yourself away. Heal, transform and come out the other side as something new.

I'm working on it.

Later peeps,

Melissa